Destiny isn't fixed

2010-02-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

YAY! I DIDN'T FORGET! WOOT! Ok, now down to biz. Orientation in CJC was a blast! Awesome orientation that'll beat any other flat. Lets see, on monday, they split us up into our classes. And turned out my class had only 3 girls outta 24 people. Ouch. Haha, anyway. Monday was basically ice-breaker games and i gotta say we bonded with each other pretty fast. Then of course we were also split into our houses. We were assigned the best house in CJC, Vulcan. No doubt about it. Haha. Oh and i almost forgot. The J2s did a skit for each house at the begining of the day. Tatewarii was epic. L4D2 much? Haha, got witch and hunter and i was like 'Wtf???'. Lol.

Day 2, tuesday. We went to SJI(I) to play telematch on their field so as not to ruin ours LOL. We played all the wet games which was way worth it. Also, we were thought the mass dance which is fun when it's a boy girl pair but not so when it's a boy boy pair lol. During the telematch, i styled my hair into a mowhawk and my dance partner was talking about how this guy's hair was sooo long when he made it into a mowhawk. 'Erm, I think that's me?' HAHA EPIC PWNED.

Day 3, DRAGON BOATING!!!! WOOT!!! It was awesome. As if 1 tan line wasn't enough the day before, we got another one today! Haha, and cause we could only sit 21 people per boat, the 3 girls opted to go to another boat. So our boat's full of guys. MAN BOAT FTW!!! Was damn fun, splashing and all. And i got the bangala job of getting rid of the water in the boat T_T sadded. Lol. We started late during the race but we still came in first (have to lar, if not no face lol). We were going like MAN-BOAT MAN-BOAT etc. Haha. And we were constantly suaning 1T11, my personal favourite (please dun get the wrong idea). They're a damn fun class and a very sporting one too (they also got balls, i'll explain ltr). And cause they're class only has 4 guys, it contrasts our class very well or like what the chinese would say, pei fu. ROFLOL.

Day 4, finale. Sadded, that it's the last day. Marina barage was so-so lar i would say. What was fun was the finale. It was EPIC. We were the first house to enter the hall and when the doors opened, we went crazy. Only to realise we're shouting to nobody. HAHA PWNED! Then each house had their own skit which had their own share of jokes. Oya's husband's Oyea (WTF), Tatewarii(Mark) vs the Vampire? lol. Aaron was Vulcan against his evil brother Vulcannot (ROFLOL), and i caught no ball during Mahuika's skit until dennis explained to me. Mass dance was SUPER fun!
Jennifer:" Eh lets swap dance partners"
Me:"Ok"
Bryan = Stunned
^ Epic
The auditorium was basically shouting, screaming etc etc. Oh man we were so high it brought forward to friday XD

Friday! Nothing much, except for the fact that i think i screwed up my shooting try-outs. Heng i never join ODAC, i would have died. Class reuion was nice. I was going crazy and joven videoed me, ryan and soong dancing ZOMG. Think they're gonna post it on facebook lor. >_< Hmm, that's about it i guess? NOw i just gotta find all my OG and Class people's Facebook XP

2010-02-03T02:13:00.000-08:00

Shall round up orientation during the weekends. Having too much fun now XD

(hope i dun forget =P)

2010-01-30T03:20:00.000-08:00

Woot, orientation so far at CJC has been a blast! So glad i chose CJC instead of any other JC =D First day, when we were split into our different OGs, it was kinda sad cause like i didn't know any one....at all.... And there was 1 St Gabs boy in every OG but never 2! What the fish! Anyway, orientation was still great and alot of fun. Of course with alot of games and getting to know each other. However during recess, the boys were like 1 table and the girls were another. LOL. That was the first day. Second day was even better! At least we knew each other's names (or made up one) and we definately knew each other's faces. The whole day was full of games and fun. Wah, very shack though and really tiring. But at least we shared a table instead of 2, LOL. Mass dance was an epic fail and i don't know how i'm gonna do it. Drama skit was even worse! It was freaking hillarous. But the sad thing is, we're just starting to get to know each other and then we're gonna be split into our classes T_T sadded... But it's nice to get to know people and all and although it didn't turn out the way i expected, i sure had a whole lot of fun, i assure you that!

2010-01-26T19:11:00.000-08:00

Hmm, JAE results out today. Got many different reactions here and there. Well I'm going to CJC at least =P. And my mom was pissed about me buying a drum set. Lucky haven buy yet if not I wouldn't be here lol. So i guess I'm gonna have to use pails as drums for the time being for the band. And ironically, we haven't even met up to jam yet. LMAO Well i guess it was a good think i never bought it yet.

2010-01-25T17:23:00.000-08:00

This isn't excatly a post but it's more to thank everyone for their wishes and all. Also like to thank my classmates for organising the upcoming birthday bash that i'm not looking forward to if you get what i mean. (17 punches x 39 classmates = ouch)

I wake as a 17-year old and the air smells no different as when I was 16. Lol

2010-01-24T17:55:00.000-08:00

Weekend update! Saturdays are kinda getting boring with nothing to do. We almost went to watch Legion until my dad pulled the plug. T_T Sadded, But then we went to buy Doritos and beer, rented a few movies and watched at home. Lol, watched push which wasn't half bad i would say. But if i could be a mover that'll be freaking awesome =P. Anyway, thats saturday. Sunday. Lugged the mats up to church. Wasn't as bad as i thought it'll be but it was worth it. The mats feels damn shiok (not bad for $15 a peice). Nominations for core team quite suprising (that i was on the board....lol) And Victoria kicked me somewhere not very decent and i shall not elaborate further. Haha. Session was beautiful, and awesome. OWL was just huge (in size) and then lunch! Couldn't find a place at market so went to Pow Sing to eat. Split into 2 tables, we chose to order chicken rice whislt the other table chose to order dishes. We started suaning each other (mostly just Ronald aka Roland thanks to me. and Claire). Quite funny lar, we were laughing and talking cock all the way. And Ronald actually told them that our bill was $86...LOL. (it's actually $44.90 for those who still dunno) After that was to me cousin's house. And they just got a Wii! But no GH...sadded... The Wii sports was epic to the max. My dad trying to learn how to play golf, wah piang we dunnid play liao lor. Damn funny, we and my bro keep playing a fool in tennis, and we couldn't wack for shit in baseball lol. Dinner was awesome and then they went to buy a cake for me. Aww man. AND MY AUNT'S TRADITION WAS THAT B'DAE BOY SING SONG NOT THE REST. WTF??? That bout wraps up sunday i guess.

And today, 25th January 2010, monday. I turn 17 at 11.16pm tonight (but i'm not gonna stay up for that, I'm going to bed lol). Today well marks 2 things. 1 is that I have excatly 2 years to earn $1000 more for my driving licence. 2 is that I have excatly 2 years to get enlisted into NS. SIAN... And the bad news is that, my friend's now have a reason to wack me (they've been dying to ever since i got my results)...RUN!

*kick* Oww! Damn girl I thaught we was closer than that!

2010-01-20T19:04:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you see the person you love, and she's falling for someone but you don't know who? You hope that she's falling for you and you think about the times you can have together and how happy you'll be, loving each other and supporting each other. But then you think, what if it's someone else? Just the thought of it hurts so bad and cuts so deep. You try to not think about it but you are reminded every time you see her or something that reminds you of her. You want to find out badly if you're the one she's falling for but you are also afraid of asking. Afraid of hurting your relationship as friends with her. What do you do in these times?Do you seek a friends comfort? Do you seek guidance in God? Do you do something stupid? Do you walk up to her and pop the question? It's something that us teenagers cope with and it's something that doesn't have a answer booklet you can copy from. People say follow your heart but sometimes your human nature gets the better of you.

Oh and I've been writing songs at work for the past 2 days (just the lyrics). May need some people's help with a few stuff. Can call me or something? Cause I dun think I can handle everything lol.

Dreaming bout you yesterday night marks the 3rd month in a row that I've been dreaming bout you. If I ask again will you break me again?

If today was your last day

2010-01-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day

and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life

What's worth the prize is always worth the fight

Every second counts 'cause there's no second try

So live like you'll never live it twice

Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day

and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

Would you call old friends you never see?

Reminisce of memories

Would you forgive your enemies?

Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you finally fall in love

If today was your last day

Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?

You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars

Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes

'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life

Let nothin' stand in your way

Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day

and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

Would you call old friends you never see?

Reminisce of memories

Would you forgive your enemies?

Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you finally fall in love

If today was your last day

- 'If Today Was Your Last Day' by Nickelback

Food for thought. Many people often take the lyrics of the song for granted but this one actually was quite meaningful. If you knew today was your last, you'll realise you'll live it very differently from how you used to. And that you'll treasure things more in your life rather than taking them for granted. That is the way we should be living, treasuring everything we have and remembering that everyday's a gift.

When you see the post of the person you love saying that she's fallen for someone, you can't help yourself but hope the person's you.

2010-01-17T17:49:00.000-08:00

Haha, i soooo love the weekends (who doesn't?). Especially sundays. Cause Saturdays are boring days where I can't even get my lazy bum out of bed just to swim 20 laps. Sian... Anyway, we had the shortest ever session this week lol (*clap clap*) And the fellowship after that was epic as usual as well as filling. Sherms brought quite alot of cookies for us and wow they're good. David's job got stolen by Mark Tang etc etc. Oh and Victoria kept leaning on my leg like a chair. Wah piang hurts leh. Want to lean at least lean from the front lar, from the side damn pain lor. Bryan was super kidish but was our entertainment box. Kept 'painting' other people lol.

After all that at church, we went to vivo! Woot! Lunch was damn hot with the laksa but also super shiok. Went to buy shoes after that and walao we kept zapping each other leh. Dunno how we got so much static also O_O Super pain lor *...zzt...* Oh and choosing of shoes was damn funny. My mom keep asking us go here go there then in the end still went back to converse. And my brother was shouting " Eh where's the ticks on the shoes?" right in the middle of a addidas shop. Roflol. After that went to challenger to buy me a Razer mouse. Awesome... It's super nice to play on lor, but still kena owned XD. I soo wana laugh in Darrell's face =P

Oh and every time I take the bus to and fro from work, the 1 hour ride always sets me thinking about the community I'm in and how much joy it has brought me. All the fun and laughter as well as the encouragement when I'm down (if I ever was down). Anyway, it's something nice to come to and to always know that you've got friends ready to catch you should you fall. The way I feel is very real but only reveals itself when I'm reflecting on the past few days. It always happens like that.

Oh 1 more thing. OWL's on a LAN roll this hollidays. They've been going for like every week and playing L4D2 for 2 hours. I guess I'll probably be going this coming Sunday, but I can still play every other day of the week since I've got the game too V^_^V

I'll love you till the ends of the world...

Christianity

2010-01-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

TODAY'S TOP NEWS: CHRISTIANITY. Yea, I knoe it's a weird topic expecially coming from me i guess. But it's something quite interesting i'd like to share. If you look around the internet or just type christianity under google image search, you find alot of jokes bout our/my religion. Just a few quotes.

Christianity: A religion which people believe in a magical jewish zombie whose father created mankind from mud. Believers then symbolically eat his fleash and communicate to him through telekinetic powers.

Yes, i know some of you may find this absurb and may even be upset by it. But i invite you to take a step back and look at it. It is understandable why some find our religion ridiculous. But what they do not understand, or mention for that matter, is the miricales that our Lord provides us. And even then sometimes people try and find reasons for these happenings but as in the bible, " Blessed are those who have not seen but yet believe." We cannot blame those who do not understand our religion and mock us but in fact (correct me if i'm wrong) we should pity them. For they have not seen the glory and power of our Lord. Take the example of Saul (aka Paul).

Another issue I'd like to address is somewhat related. For some reason, people seem to see people of different religion as a difference when in fact it should be something that unites us all. I don't think any (sane) religion teaches you how to murder and fight but they teach you all the same morals. How to love, how to forgive, how to embrace each other etc etc. We often think that our religion is the only way to go. But if you at it at a different perpestive, it's another way of worshiping the same God(lol, ironic). In a sense, we are all worshiping the same God just in a different manner.

The final issue is doubt. Doubt, i believe, is the most common sin that we do not confess in a confession (either we forget or we push it aside). It is but human nature that we feel the urge to understand how things work and when something happens that we cannot understand, we go two ways. One, we doubt and start asking how does he do it. Two, we stand in awe and believe that the man is divine. My mom (oh my goodness again??) shared with me something interesting. It's a theory that when man tries to understand something, that something changes shape/form. It's as if the thing doesn't want us to understand it. And it is where the gift of faith comes in. A true believer of anything, does not need prove to believe in something. Gets you thinking huh.

2010-01-13T18:43:00.000-08:00

You know, all these happenings reminded me of what my mom (yes my mom again) used to tell me. That I was one hell of a happy soul. V^_^V And I have to say I think I agree with her (lol, that's not normal). I've realised that it takes very little to cheer me up and that more often than not, I'm contented with what I have and am always grateful of the things that come my way. On top of that, I always seem to be able to accept things pretty well (something my brother could learn from me XD).

But me moms also said that I was an intelectual (shit man i hate spelling, hope i spelt it right) boy and not one who is very sensitive to my surroundings and people. And that's the down side I guess. I mean nobody's perfect and it's the price I've gotta pay i guess. But what's important is that I take it on myself to make up for these things that I lack. To make a concious effort and take more care into what I say and how others feel. Compared to how I behaved all those years ago, I'd say I was doing a pretty good job. But I don't think it's enough though. Guess I'll just have to try harder =/

Oh and Matthew actually tagged my blog in his! Woot! That means people are actually reading this! lolol...

We all fall down, but those that pick themselves up are those who eventually reach the top

2010-01-13T00:28:00.000-08:00

I just finished my JAE yesterday and I thought that this entire 'O' Level drama was over. But I just realised that this is only the begginning of what's going to be a very long 'Drama' series. You know, getting this score is kinda like a double-sided blade. When my family first got news of it, they were overjoyed. It was in contrast of how I've been doing in school and how I did for PSLE. But when you see and realise the other side of the story, it pains you to see people that you know and care about. Hurting, and the state they're in isn't one that is very comforting. When I was at the bottom, I always dreamt to be right at the top. But now that I'm here, I realise that I don't want it so much. I'd rather share the pain of those I care about. And for those who eventually get over it isn't so bad but it's those who don't and get permanently scared inside. I don't know why, but there's always this need to know inside of me. And more often than not, I hurt many in the process and for what? Just to feel satisfaction because you won the fella by a point or 10? The pain I cause those, I don't know if I can forgive myself. I sometimes ask God in the middle of the night why did he make me rise so high only to hurt those around me. The answer come as to teach me to control my ego. I accept it and go to bed but the next day I become the same insensitive jerk I was the previous day.

Sometimes, I'm so pissed with myself for being so self centred and ignoring about how others feel. And yet, I still hurt those around me. Maybe it's cause of my primary school experiece of being put down. Maybe it's cause of my secondary school friends who just laughs everything off. But whatever ther case, I should put it on myself to change.

They say it's a cruel world and I can see why. For people to rise up, there has to be someone to take the bottom. And sometimes, those who are at the bottom deserve the top spot more than those up there. It's cruel, unfair, and we've gotta live with it. I admire those who actually make it up without hurting anyone. If it's even possible.

I'm quite suprised that people aren't pissed off at me the way I am at myself. Some people call it their conscience and others call it Gos' voice. I'd like to think of it as a little of both. But the bottom line is that there's always good in people, but human nature often takes over and they feel the need to fill their ego. I recently watched a show about the bushmen, and how simple a life they live. With no such thing as materialism, autority or pride. They live such a simple life that
there's is no way they could hurt anyone emotionally. And one wonders why the world isn't like that.

Candice remindeed me of something I had totally forgotten this month, do not judge. We're in no position to judge anyone, be it in speech or even just in thought. And I've been doing it over and over again unknowingly. Not concious of the pain I might bring to others. We're a community, not just a bunch of friends. We're closer than just knowing each other. There's a saying my mother always said to me. Treat others how you would like others to treat you. And I so have not been doing that. There's something sorely lacking in my character, and I have to fix it fast. Before I lose those close to me entirely.

If you are reading this, I do not expect you to put yourself in my shoes. But merely to ask you to understand the position I'm in...

I'd like to support you in whatever way I can

2010-01-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hey, thanks to everyone for their affirmations and congratulations. Really appreciate it. And for those who still don't know, I got 8 points for my GCE 'O' Levels and I'm planning to go to CJC. So for those going there too, see 'ya there! Also thanks for forgiving my insesitivity yesterday. Looking forward to see you guys in school!

The night is at it's darkest before the dawn

2010-01-11T06:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been 1 weekend filled with a 'rojak' of feelings. Starting with Sunday, session was awesome! Loved the songs and especially the new one. Except that not a lot of people knew the song so they like only sang the line "Let the praises ring!". Lol. And so we managed to get by the P&W and the games were....well....interesting. The sharing by Gerrard was damn funny. But he got the point in alright. It was nice to see everyone praying for each other for the 'O' Level results today and I guess you could say the sense of community was there. Anyway, went for lunch at market(again) and then we went off for LAN! Like finally! I was like wanting to go for dunno how many weeks and I finally did! And it was great. Lots of fun and Bryan and I kept trying to kill each other. Was kinda funny.

Then came the big day today. To be honest, this is why I wanted to post this to begin with. It was totally not the way I expected to feel and it was 1 big messy mash of feelings and emotions. Right before I left, I realised I didn't prepare my school uniform. So chiong all the way and left the house uber late. And to my surprise I made it to the hall just in time without a cab!. The starting part was boring and everyone was like itching to get their results whilst the principal and vice-principal read out their long speech. Then came the announcement of the top students. And to my surprise, I was ranked third among the school. I could scarsely believe it. Just hours ago, I had doubts whether I would make it to CJ and now I had my assurance. Praise God! But that too was, kinda say, my downfall. After knowing my results and all. I became stupidly insensitive to others and my curiousity/ego got the better of me. I started to ask around(it wasn't only school friends) my circle of friends for their results and I didn't really take alot of care into what I said to them. I ~~believe~~ know that I've hurt many people in my ridiculous question and my stupid replies. And although I should be celebrating, my heart aches when I visualize the pain some of them are facing. And how my insensitivity just rubbed it in. It'd sucked. A lot. I sometimes feel, what's the point of this when I'm going to cause so much pain to others. I would rather not have it to begin with.

To those whom I've hurt, I pray that you forgive me and that we may still be friends. I also pray that you may have the strength to get over this tough time and know that I'll be praying.

We all learn from failure, not from success

History

2010-01-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

I realised that many people know me today as a fun loving, care free guy who has no problems at all. And many also always say that I had a deprived childhood as a joke. But what many don't realise is that I in fact did have a deprived childhood in a sense. It's something I'm not proud of and something I'd like to leave behind but I feel people should know what I went through.

Some would know that I attended Tao Nan Primary School, which apparently is a pretty good school. However, Tao Nan was a all Chinese school and as most of you would have noticed, I'm tan enough to pass off as an Indian. That being the case I was often bullied and teased. I was, in short, the outcast. I was also a very obedient kid thanks to my mom and soon enough, many teachers (I think) soon liked me for what they saw in my character. This portrayed myself as a teacher's pet and gave all the more reason to pick on me. At that time, I had very few friends and I wonder now if me being shy amongst new people is because of what happened all those years ago.

In primary 3, a girl actually came up to confess her feelings for me. But being just a imature kid, I took it lightly and well, word got out bout her liking me and she was furious. she thought that I told everyone even though I darn well know I didn't. I don't know if she ever got over that incident.

In primary school, I always stayed locked up in my home. With no friends to prompt me to go out. With nobody inviting me to their houses. I basically missed what many slowly learned in 6 years. My life was a boring one, one always with the family should I go out. It was always eat, sleep, study, play. No exposure to music, never celbrating the joy of New Year. Not going out on half-days. Now, I'm trying to catch up and trying to pick up the pieces.

In primary 6, I became a victim of a bully. Now, I find myself stupid to not have done something about it then. It might have been the fear or reluctance but I can't remember. I won't mention names but He would often throw 2 of us into a cage and make us fight each other. He made us do a whole lot of stupid things while he just sat back and laughed. He would make us take the blame for things He was responsible for. He would take what he wanted, when he wanted, and whom he wanted. To put it bluntly, it sucked to the core.

When I entered Secondary school was the time I started changing. Lower secondary was the changing period I supposed. There were people who still made fun of me but there wasn't any bullying. Moreover, we'll just laugh it off even if we're made fun of. Sec 3 was, and will be, the year of biggest change. I changed from a girl-shy boy to someone who would make others laugh. I slowly became more friendly and more open to what the world has to offer. It was also the year I found God, and the year where I also found true friends. It was a year of fun and a care-free time which contrasted to the dark times I experienced for 6 years.

However, I did make 1 friend in that 6 years. And that friend proved to be the most loyal, kind friend I will probably ever make. There's is nothing we can't talk about and we are still keeping in touch. And even if we don't talk for sometime, we still welcome each otheer should we meet face to face.

This is probably the closing of the past that I've left behind. It's something that I hope will never haunt me again. I've made a freash start, a new beggining, a new life. I'm a new man in all. And I gotta say, it feels good.

P.S. After you're done reading this, don't mind but can you post your name in the cbox on your right? I want to see whose actually reading my blog or if it's even being read. Thanks!

I'm tall, I'm dark, but I'm not sure if I'm handsome lol

2010

2010-01-03T17:18:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Yea, you know bout the video I promised? I'm gona have to break it cause I don't have it and I'm too busy to make it (more like too lazy though). This weekend has been 1 crazy one. Almost as good as the Christmas weekend.

Starting from New Years Eve. Before the fun began, I had an epic convo with Darrell, Daren and CH. Super epic, LMAO. Darrell was like trying to call me gay and Daren tried to suan him. But then I called him a 16-year-old wanabe and he diam diam liao. Damn funny. Moving on in life, we then had a New Years party at Claire's. It was fun. With Tim and Gerard, there was enough laughter to go around. The risk game was a total phail if you ask me. Everyone was trying to make alliances with all of them failing (with the exception of mine and Gerrard's). After the bell chimed, It was officially th 1st of Jan.

1st day of 2010 was a blast. Our day started at 12 midnight sharp XD. We continued to slack at claire's place till bout 1+, which we then made our way to Orchard Cineleisure to watch Sherlock Holmes at 3.15am ^_^ . The show wasn't half bad but everyone was like falling asleep throughout the movie. I think only Darius and I stayed awake the entire way. By the time I reached home, and fell asleep, it was 6.30 lor. I then slept the rest of the day. =D

Saturday was boring I guess, nothing much. Didn't even go for my swim, lol.

Sunday. Omg omg, the first time I actually played for session and I was in such a mess right from the start. I woke up at 9, only to see claire's message that we're spose to be there at 9 for practice. So I rushed through my breakfast and 'chiong sua' (means 'rush the mountain' literally) on my bike. And to top things off. When I reached there, she tells me Candice's at mass. I was like, 'Omg, you shiting me. You rush me like that then now....walau' Haha, no grudges claire! The playing itself wasn't that bad I think. But maybe it's cause there's Matt and Candice to cover me up. I think I totally screwed it lol. Then I now rush down the mountain and gobbled down my food while Russell and Darrell came over to my place. Had some fun and you wouldn't believe what we found in Darrell's laptop. >_< And I thought he got over that already. Tsk tsk...

2009

2009-12-30T17:43:00.000-08:00

Whoo, time sure flies when you're having fun. Last I remembered, I just entered St. Gab's at sec 1. Now I'm a graduated sec 4 boy awaiting my 'O' Level results. Instead of any normal post, I'll try and summarize the entire year. Seriously.

Lets see, where to start. Alright, with 1st Jan then. 1st Jan 09, BBQ at my place! It was a failure in the sense that I wanted to get both church and school friends to come. In the end, I only got the school friends. Went alot better than I expected. Many found the food great, thanks to my dad. And Hariz had his first can of beer o_o I know, he's muslim. LOL Anywayz, after that was Victoria's b'dae party on the 13th. Note to self, get better birthday presents. It was total ownage when I was almost as tall as her when she was standing on a stool. XD. Then came my b'dae on the 25th. Went to Sake Sushi for dinner and, wah piang, had unagi overload >_<. CNY was the usual, except me dressing nicer and looking better ;) Well, that bout sums up Jan.

Febuary. Erm, nothing much except my brother's and dad's birthday.

April was easter season! Went super hyper in church and in OWL. Boy oh boy, we were so hyper that we...couldn't get our own room. Haha, it was epic. And then Candice broke the news that she was leaving OWL for 'good'. Tears flowed and hugs went around. Nah, I'm lying. It wasn't excatly happy but there weren't any tears either. But the easter tridum was crazy. Could hardly put in any hours for sleep. Was literally out every night. And there goes April.

June oh June. After the grueling chinese O levels, the holidays are finally here. It's something everyone looks forward to and is a period to be happy. Until, that is, you realise it's your GCE 'O' Levels this year, you've haven't started your revision and you just got 24 points for mid-years. Congratulations genius. But even after all the prompting, the books were still getting dusty. Oh, but just after chinese 'O's, we, as in my cat class, went for another outing! Organised by yours truely and it was a tight squeeze. Went for a movie and then cycling at Sentosa. It was awesome. Never get wet though, so hoping for that. =( Victoria also swore she'll never organise anything again. Looks like it's all up to me now =/ And June came and went.

The next thing that happened in August wasn't only our countries birthday, it was my English 'O's oral and the results for my Chinese. English was a breeze as usual, and I passed my Chinese! With a C5! ZOMG I was thrilled. Plus, my mid-years got a E8 kay, so it was a huge improvement. =D

Can't remember when excatly, but Candice came back to OWL, knew she wouldn't last long, haha. September. Now it was my turn to say bye to OWL. My tution place was offering extra tuition lessons on Sundays which clashed with my session. Against my will, my mom made me go for it, and they last 4.5 hours in total mind you. It wasn't easy but I managed. 'O's were inevitable now and my prelim results showed an improvement which was promising. The score however not so. It was 18 points and that wasn't even enough to get me to my JC. T_T

'O's came and passed. Most of it was kinda easy for me. But it's just a feeling. After that, we threw all our worries away and went for our CLASS CHALET! (even though it was before the CL'B LC XD) Was awesome man. Didn't sleep the first night and kenneth's story was an epic phailure! Will never forget that dude! Haha. We stayed up all night playing xbox and some went to watch paranormal activites. Which wasn't my type. Later that month I went to watch 2012 which wasn't too bad. Knida scary though. And then I'm back to OWL! Hugs galore! =D

December. First thing, 5th December offically OWL day. That was the first main thing. After that, I found a job (from which I'm typing out this post XD) And was kinda restrictive. Couldn't go out as often but was something I was willing to pay. Christmas Season was awesome and refering to my previous post will get you the details.

So all in all, 2009 was a year not to forget and it will always be a milestone in my life. It's one of those times when you actually change quite a bit in a very short period. 2010 may be better, may be worse. But what I know is, 2009 had it's fair share of good and bad times. I would say it's the best rojak of feelings in 1 year. 2009 was also the year of the videos for me. In total I think I made at least 4 videos. And to finish it, I'm gonna try and produce another to summarize the entire year. If I make it, I'll be able to post it tomorrow. Wish me luck moys and girls! (And I won't be tagging people. If I do, it'll be longer than this post -_-")

2010's coming, put your sorrows behind and move on

2009-12-27T16:59:00.000-08:00

Weee! This christmas weekend was AWESOME to the MAX! Okay, lets start from Christmas eve. Well, Christmas eve itself wasn't that much fun. Ok, I'm lying =). Christmas eve dinner was hot hot hot. As in litterally. Every dish on the table was spicy. Whoooho. Had a serious tougue burn. It's was R&R then till 9.30 where i was spose to meet the OWL people at 10 at be seeated by 10. And guess what? I arrived at 9.45 and nobody arrived till like 10.15! I was like zomg...-_-" . But the wait was definately worth it. After we all got seated, the mass and the programme was awesome to me at least. (Candice was complaining bout being cold. She ownself never bring jacket o_o" )Plus, every girl I knew there was like wearing eye liner. It felt damn weird and made most look worst. Especially on Rachelle whom I've not seen for months. She looked kinda Gothic.(I'm still taller than those who wore heals!) But the best part was the closing hymn, Felize Navida. Our entire area (made of people from all the youth groups) were like dancing all the way. Wah was epic! Everyone was staring at us but i don't think we cared. Some even joined us! O.o The mass ended at about 1am but we camwhored until 2.30am. (and Pang Seied candice and Pearlyn XD) So that's the end of Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho...

Christmas! Was.....kinda boring XD. I stayed home all the way but at least I managed to put in some solid hours into my com. I won't lie. It felt good. Besides that nothing much I guess for Christmas. Moving on.

Boxing Day. Since I'd already opened my presents on Christmas Eve, there was nothing to open. So, first thing in the morning was off to the pool. Did bout 20 laps (nia) and then went home. The only interesting thing that day was Gabriel's baptism, Uncle Jack's grandson. First baptism that I can actually remember. The baby was soooo cute! =3 Angela was there too (wonders how she's related). And that's bout it for Boxing Day.

The last and best day of the weekend. We call it the feast of the Holy Family. But others just call it the sunday after christmas.Waking up for 7am mass was a chore as usual. The day truely started when I went up to church again. I met up with my old cat class mates. Went out for luch and Gabriel, who was the organiser, was last to join us...-_-" Settled at M.O.S. (ouch, my wallet) and then hanged out at frolic and suaned Lady Gaga until 3.30pm. The time at frolic was epic with it's up and downs. Gabriel being who he is and Darius rubbing eveything in. ROFLMAO all th way dude. Crashed at Claire's place with Vic and then over to Simeon's Place for the partaey! Wee, it was awesome. The songs and all the performance were great. Dancing was epic. Don't even get me started with the Rapidough. Mark Tang was getting owned by a Pickachu and J.P. learned how to play bridge. Freeman singing Collide and Gerrad being the crazy self he always has been. It was great. Ended off with P&W and off i went home. Crashed at bout 11.30pm. Yawnz....

~Felize Navida.......Felize Navida.......Felize Navida, onche du felize nida....
Felize Navida.......Felize Navida.......Felize Navida, onche du felize nida.
We wana wish you a merry christmas,
We wana wish you a merry christmas.
We wana wish you a merry christmas,
From the bottom of our hearts.....
We wana wish you a merry christmas,
We wana wish you a merry christmas.
We wana wish you a merry christmas,
From the bottom of our hearts.~

I dreamt of you again. It's as if fate wants me to be with you but you keep pushing me away. I can't bear to ask you again. I can't bear to risk the pain again....

Christmas Eve

2009-12-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

This post is definately not about Christmas. Yesterday, I had a really interesting convosation with Yi Poh, the oldest, bestest, most loyal friend I ever have and ever will have. It's was quite some time since we talked and yea, it was nice catching up and all. Then he surprised me by asking me about relationships. It took me a little digging but I soon found out that he was going out with the girl of his dreams. The convo then turned to me. Asking if I had a girlfriend. And after explaining my situation he gave it a rest. But it got me thinking. Why can't I move on? Why can't I get over you? You've already made your stance clear enough for me to see, but yet there's something preventing me from asking others. It isn't like we went any deeper than a hug but I find myself in a standstill. I feel as if I've been launched into a Chinese drama or a breakup song. I'm not just listening or watching it. I'm living it. And it hurt as hell to just think bout it.

Yesterday when asked why don't i find myself a girlfriend, I said it was because half of me wants to get one, while the other half doesn't. I gave a stupid excuse saying that girlfriends were an expense. But looking deeper says that money isn't a problem and that it's something worth giving up for someone you love. I really admire my friend, whom, though not perfect, has made the best out of himself. But there's a feeling inside me, that makes me feel as if I'm cheating and not loyal should I find someone else and actually move on. It kinda sux. It's like hitting a rock wall. And although you can climb over it, you can't make your legs move. Is this really how it's suposed to feel or is this just me imagining too much? I've passed many physical obstacles and this is my 1st major emotional obstacle. I never thought I would ever feel this way. These are just a few quotes from songs I listen to that sumarises how i feel.

'Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard' - The Scientist, Coldplay

'Cause when my heart breaks it don't break even...no
What am I suposed to do when the best part of me was always you, yeah
What am I suposed to say when I'm all coked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces..........yeah,
I'm falling to pieces.........' - Breakeven, The Script

'the day I thought I'll never get through, I got over you....' - Over you, Daughtry

Merry christmas everyone

2009-12-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been 1 hellavua weekend. Actually, it wasn't that interesting. But it wasn't half bad either. Let's see... Friday, after my post (and my work..ugh...), went for weekday mass. I already decieded that I didn't want to go for bible sharing but the attendance shocked me. There were only 2 OWLs there and we're supposed to be in charge of bible sharing this month! I mean, there isn't any body taking the responsibility which saddened me. So yea, went home after DO and wanted to relax. But my parents won't gimme a break T_T Ah well, thats Friday.

Saturday, had to lug my big, fat, lazy body to the pool. Aimed to do 24 laps but ended up only doing 20. And my father won't stop suaning me -_-" (some dad XD) Went home and played with Dylan online, whom, is supposed to train me but ended up disconecting...oh the irony....Nothing musch about the afternnon but then we went to watch Avatar at night. It was freakin' AWESOME. The effects and everything, was very well done. Kudos to the director. However, we went for the 3-D one which wasn't as good as I expected. I had to keep pushing up the glasses to prevent them from dropping. In the end, I got so fed-up and I just left my hand there.

Sunday! Hmm, after sleeping at almost 1 the previous day and waking up for 7am mass. You can guess how I would have looked like during the mass. My eyes were only half open and the homily was tempting me to sleep. I closed my eyes a few times here and there but I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep. Oh and the church was freezing, I mean real bad. I still had goosebumps even with my jacket on. As you can imagine, I wasted no time getting out to embrace the warmth. After a heavy breakfast, Had to run to Geylang to pay respects to my Grandfather (I swear that it always clashes with my session O_O). I expected us to be there till like 12noon or something but it ended up ending at 10.30. Wah, my hopes rose like a rocket. I managed to presuade my dad to chiong back to SFX and, thank God, I made it there in time. Attended session, led by Candice and Pearlyn. The P&W was a little 'phail' but people learn from mistakes I guess. It was a nice try and thanks for leading! =] Affirmaion for session slowly became more like a joke session lor. Everyone was joking around and Sherman was epic. "I'm done with Samuel" he says. And OWLs being OWLs, just had to rub it in. Including me! =D Victoria finally joined us and of course, with her sanity still intact, did not quite fit in yet. But she'll get used to our retarded ways I guess. Went for lunch which took us 20 mins just to get moving. Lol. And ended up eating prawn mee (yay, my fav! =3). My table was just gross lor. Everyone was talking about how it's like working at a clinic. Victoria had to mention that a sick man's pee was the same colour as our iced-lemon tea, Andrew kept saying plucking toe nails are fun etc etc. I still managed to swallow my food though. That's bout it for Sunday I think. The rest is kinda boring.

Christmas is coming! And I finally bought the Christmas presents for everyone. Pain on my wallet though. Looks like I already owe my mom bout $200. Ouch. Oh and I just found out that someone I know, looks stunningly gorgeous in her prom dress. I mean she's like a totally different person. And no, I didn't take her out...-_-" That's bout it I guess, looking forward to midnight mass on Thursday, I'm gona need at least 3 cups of coffe if I'm even going to stand a fighting chance of staying awake.

when you needed me, I was there.
when you cried, I gave my shoulder.
when you needed comfort, I gave you my arms.
when needed to talk, my ears were yours.

when you played, I applauded.
when you sang, I sang along.
when you limped, I supported you.
when you fell, I helped you up.

but I want to be more than your friend,
but I want to be more than your angel.
I want you to be there always,
just as I've been there for you.

Now you know why I failed (and dropped) literature. I can't write poems for shit. =P Ah well, back to playing love songs. XD

2009-12-17T18:15:00.000-08:00

I always thought that not many of the people I know are bloggers. Guess I was wrong. From Ch'ng's blog, there's obviously many who blog. Many who I know as well. Guess it just shows how well I know my friends. I was never a blogger. Never got to understand how people enjoy pouring their hearts out to the millions of people who read it and sharing their experiences. But now, Having gone through what I have (getting a job which requires you to sit in front of a computer all day long without anything to do) I've come to realise that blogging is actually alot more than what I had imagined. It's actually a way to get someone to notice you or a medium of which you use to pour out your sorrows. I guess maybe I've been living that kind of lifestyle for sometime without knowing it. Being a person who looks at computers only as a platform for you to play games, honestly, knida sucks. Especially when you go out to find others using your 'gaming device' and putting it to better use.

Okay, enough of my background and crap. Guess it now comes to the part where I actually write something related to today. First thing. O my GWAD, Christmas is next week and I haven't bought anyone anything yet! ARGH! I hope I can squeeze something out in time. I mean, I haven't actually got anyone anything proper. Be it birthdays or christmas. And I'm intending to change that.Problem is, it's still in the thought process. XD

Working is alot harder than what I would have expected. What I expected was something where I wouldn't be able to cope with the workload and the skill required is also above what I can handle. Turns out quite the opposite. I CAN'T HANDLE THE BOREDOM!!! WAAA. And on top of that, my week is literally fried. Any outing with OWL on a weekday is a straight 'no no' as you can see. Unlike my previous job (which wasn't excatly a job seeing that it was my parent's classmate) this is a full day job and not half day. ( CURSE YOU DARRELL!!!!) So the Dragon Age Origins I downloaded is being played at breakneck speed, if you're a snail.

On that note however, Dragon Age is above my expectations. Yea, the critics gave it a 10/10 in digital life but despite my expectations, it still impressed me. ( Plz ignore what i said earlier about the medium for games etc etc) And mind you, it isn't easy to impress me with such a game. And I'm going old-school! Back to maple that is. (This is the part where your jaw-drops). =P My brother pulled me into this, I had nothing to do with it.

Churchies side, we're in charge of bible sharing this month and I think tonight's the last one. Seeing that next friday is Christmas. For those who don't know, last week's sharing was epic. My sharing group went totally off course to Kota Tingi to leeches. I shall not elaborate further but we got all the details. After that I ended up playing for closing hymm which I felt was a complete disater. Apparently, I played on too high a note. *goes to a corner to emo* But being nice people as they always are, they said it's alright. Looking forward to clearing our room. (The first 'Bangla' job I'm looking forward to O_O ) There's a drum set! At least what's left of it. Hope it's fixable though.

And finally, a big shoutout to all those people with blogs whom I know personally. Please teach the the ways of blogging XD. And also lemme tag your blog here and vise versa. Thx all and GOD BLESS.

Kenneth: *Sneezes*
Samuel : "Bless you"
Kenneth: *sniff* " I'm blessed!"
Samuel : o_o??? wtf??